I

There 4 years since i left high school. The first time went away from high school girl who have bullying all the time turn into a middle senior university student. i realize that i had so much experience that i never had before. That is made who i am today. 

but in the journey i felt there is something wrong with me. I felt that in the way to be mature person that i become fear about anything. i am afraid to trust people, to do something and believe in something. i don't know what i must to do and i felt like i was trapped in the hole and never climbing back. the fear that i felt burn my courage into the ashes. 

now, i am the edge of my glory. to the point that i can made people that i can achieve something. but then i was doing is crying all the night and playing all the night ... afraid to my failure. 

i felt that somehow when it's the point  that i am doing it right that i will fail. 

why i do think like that ?

i don't know what i suppose to do  ? 

my religion told me not to lost hope ...